ASK SUSIE is a regular advice column at Lacamas Magazine.

The are girls at school I hang out with sometimes ask me to do things I don’t feel comfortable doing, things that just aren’t part of who I am. How can I let them know that I don’t do that stuff without embarrassing myself and losing my friends?

It’s hard to find friends with the same standards. I should know, I went through numerous groups of friends until the third quarter of my junior year, when I finally found gal pals like me. Do your friends uplift and edify you? Because real friends make you feel good about yourself and care for your well-being. You should tell your friends that you’d rather not do what they’re doing because you just feel it isn’t right. If they are friends, I mean real friends, they will respect you more for the quality of morals you possess. If they aren’t real friends, they will be insulted. After you tell them where you stand, it is up to them to demonstrate if you should remain friends. And if you have to leave that group, remember you’ll have a new chance to form better friendships among people with your standards.

How do I tell a really nice girl who likes me that I just want to be friends? I really do just want to be her friend.

I think you should set this sweet friend of yours straight. You should tell her that you’d just like to be friends, but remember to consider her feelings. Remember, if she likes you, how can she hate you for being kind and honest?

Feel free to submit your questions to [email protected] and remember last names are withheld.