The passing of a loved one is a heartbreaking event, filled with grief and sorrow. However, the aftermath can become even more painful if disagreements over their personal belongings tear your family apart. These disputes, primarily when centered around meaningful objects, can leave lasting wounds that may never fully heal.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. By understanding the emotional weight of possessions, the power of perception and taking proactive steps, you can prevent such heartache and foster a more harmonious grieving process for your family. We’ll explore practical strategies to ensure your final wishes are honored, and your loved ones stay united amidst loss.

Perception Is the Basis for Conflict

Your personal belongings are so much more than just material objects. They are tangible reminders of your life, personality, and connection to the people you hold dear. These items can provide immense comfort and solace for your grieving family when you’re gone. However, the emotional ties to your possessions can also set the stage for conflict.

Your family members may have very different ideas about the value and significance of your possessions and how your possessions should be distributed. Emotional attachments to personal property often run deeper than anyone realizes, reflecting unresolved feelings of love, guilt, or regret. These differences in perspective can create tension and resentment and even damage relationships that have lasted a lifetime.

The Value of Open Communication and Thoughtful Planning

To minimize the risk of family feuds over your personal property, one of the most effective things you can do is have open and honest conversations about expectations and preferences long before you’re gone. Here are some strategies to consider:

Start the Conversation Early. While it may feel awkward to discuss such sensitive topics, it’s far better to address them proactively. This allows for a more thoughtful and deliberate discussion of everyone’s wishes. Ideally, these conversations should occur when all parties are calm and emotionally prepared rather than amid grief.

Record Yourself. Don’t underestimate the value of getting on video. Recording yourself explaining your wishes and why can be very powerful, as well as provide clarity and decrease conflict for your loved ones. When you create your estate plan with my firm, we include a Life & Legacy Interview with every plan so that your decisions and their reasons are clear to your family. When there’s no ambiguity, the possibility of conflict lessens.

Make an Inventory. Make a comprehensive list of all your personal belongings, including their sentimental value and any specific requests or wishes you have associated with them. This inventory can be a crucial reference point for your family members after you’re gone. If possible, involve your loved ones in this process so that they understand your wishes and can ensure your voice is heard.

Create a Life and Legacy Plan. A Life and Legacy Plan can minimize disputes by clearly outlining your wishes regarding distributing your personal property. In addition to the Life & Legacy Interview, every plan includes a “personal property memorandum,” which provides additional clarity, specifying which items should go to which beneficiaries. We even help you update your plan to reflect changing circumstances or preferences and prevent family conflict.

Focus on Your Family’s Needs. Ultimately, the goal of your planning should be to honor your memory and support the well-being of your loved ones. Prioritize the needs of grieving people and try to find solutions that minimize conflict and pain. Sometimes, creating a process where each family member can express their attachment to specific items and why they matter can help others understand their emotional value rather than just their monetary worth.

Helping Your Family Sell Your Belongings with Care and Intention

Sometimes, your loved ones may need to sell your personal property, which may be necessary to settle your estate, pay debts, or ensure that your items are put to good use. Whether or not the items sold hold sentimental value, this can be another task ripe with conflict. Further, many family members don’t know what the process entails. But you can help make it easier for them by doing a lot of legwork now.

In your Life & Legacy Plan, you can specify how you want your items sold and outline the process for your loved ones. Here are the steps your family will need to take:

Assess the True Value of Your Items. Start by evaluating the worth of the items to be sold. This may involve hiring an appraiser, especially for valuable items such as antiques, artwork, or jewelry. An appraiser can objectively assess an item’s value, which can help prevent disputes over perceived worth and ensure a fair sale.

Choose the Right Selling Method. Depending on the type and value of your belongings, your loved ones must choose a selling method. A yard sale or estate sale might be appropriate for everyday household items. An auction house, consignment shop, or online marketplace may be the way to go for more valuable items. Your family should also be mindful of any fees or commissions associated with these approaches.

Enlist the Help of an Estate Sale Company. Hiring a professional estate sales company can be a game-changer if your estate contains many items or your family is overwhelmed by the process. These companies handle everything from pricing items to advertising the sale, managing the event, and disposing of unsold items. They typically charge a percentage of the sales, but their expertise can make the process smoother and less stressful.

Understand the Legal Requirements. Depending on your jurisdiction, specific legal requirements for selling estate property may exist. For example, an executor may need court approval to sell certain assets or follow particular procedures for notifying beneficiaries. When you create your Life & Legacy Plan with us, we will be there for your family when you no longer can be, and we can advise them on all the necessary legal requirements.

Plan for the Proceeds. Decide how the sale proceeds will be used and document your wishes in your Life & Legacy Plan. We can help you specify whether they will be distributed among your heirs, used to pay off estate debts, or donated to charity.

Leave a Legacy of Harmony, Not Conflict

Your loved ones deserve to grieve with dignity and respect, not embroiled in bitter disputes. Take the time now to put the proper measures in place, and you can rest assured that your final wishes will be honored and your family will stay out of court and conflict after you’re gone.

This is the legacy you can leave behind – not just the material objects you’ve accumulated over a lifetime, but the gift of harmony, understanding, and compassion for those you hold most dear.

Family disputes over personal property can cause significant pain and tension at a time when loved ones should come together. We help you create a Life & Legacy Plan that ensures your belongings are distributed according to your wishes without conflict or confusion. With careful thought, clear communication, and the right tools, your Life & Legacy Plan will unite your family, even amid grief. And you’ll gain the peace of mind knowing that your wishes will be honored and your loved ones will be supported long after you’re gone.

Contact us today!

This article is a service of Res Nova Law, a Personal Family Lawyer® Firm. We don’t just draft documents; we ensure you make informed and empowered decisions about life and death, for yourself and the people you love. That’s why we offer a Life & Legacy Planning™ Session, during which you will get more financially organized than you’ve ever been before and make all the best choices for the people you love. You can begin by calling our office today to schedule a Life & Legacy Planning™ Session.

The content is sourced from Personal Family Lawyer® for use by Personal Family Lawyer® firms, a source believed to be providing accurate information. This material was created for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as ERISA, tax, legal, or investment advice. If you are seeking legal advice specific to your needs, such advice services must be obtained on your own separate from this educational material.

When Matthew Perry, the beloved star of Friends, passed away last year, the world mourned the loss of a comedic icon. However, as details of his estate began to emerge, a curious puzzle presented itself: despite his reported net worth of $120 million, his bank account held (only) $1.5 million. Admittedly, this seems like a whopping sum to most of us, but this amount appears off for a man who earned millions of dollars for just one episode of the show. Shouldn’t he have had much more money than that? The answer lies in the details of estate planning and using trusts as part of your plan.

In this article, we’ll look at Perry’s estate plan and pull out some valuable lessons. These lessons pertain to all of us, not just the rich and famous. To find out how trusts can benefit you, read on.

What is a Trust?

A trust is simply a legal arrangement where a person (sometimes called a “settlor”) transfers assets to someone ( a “trustee”) who manages those assets for the benefit of someone else (the “beneficiaries”). Many types of trusts can be used for various purposes, including estate planning, asset protection, and providing for loved ones.

The trustees appointed to manage a trust play a crucial role in fulfilling the settlor’s wishes. Choosing the right trustees is essential for the effective management of a trust. Trustees should be trustworthy, financially responsible, and knowledgeable about estate planning. They should also be willing to devote the time and effort required to manage the trust’s assets.

In Perry’s case, it appears he established a trust during his lifetime. This trust, which seems to be named the Alvy Singer Living Trust—Woody Allen’s character in Annie Hall—presumably holds a significant portion of his wealth. In Perry’s case, the trustees were likely responsible for managing his investments, paying bills, and distributing money to the beneficiaries.

Why would Perry have chosen to establish a trust? There are many benefits, which I’ll break down in greater detail now.

The Power and Benefits of Trusts

There are many advantages to using a trust for estate planning. Here are some of the most common.

Protection from creditors and lawsuits. If a beneficiary faced financial difficulties, their creditors would generally not have access to assets held in a trust.

Ongoing support during life, incapacity, and after death. Trusts can provide for loved ones more flexibly than a will. A will is a legal document that outlines how your assets will be distributed after your death. However, a trust can be structured to provide support during your life and for your beneficiaries over time, ensuring their needs are met. If you have a will, your assets will usually be transferred to your beneficiaries – even if they are young or financially irresponsible.

Minimization of estate taxes. Depending on the size of an estate, there may be significant federal and state estate taxes. A trust can reduce or eliminate these taxes.

Court avoidance. A court process called probate takes place after someone dies, and it can be expensive, lengthy, and conflict-laden. If you have a will or no estate plan, court is mandatory. However, the court process may be avoided if you have a trust. This results in less expense, less time, and a decreased probability of conflict. It’s also a public proceeding, and court filings contain personal and financial information you may not want others to see.

Conflict avoidance. The court process is set up to give all heirs and creditors a claim to your assets. They are invited to file a claim and get to see information about your assets.

Greater control over what happens to your assets and your family. When you have to go to court, someone other than you – a judge who’s a stranger to you and your family – will make all final decisions about your money, property, and family. But with a trust, you can make those decisions and exercise control over the outcomes.

Preserving assets when there’s a substance abuse issue. It’s no secret that Perry struggled with substance abuse for much of his life, and it’s possible that because of that, he was advised to create a trust to hold his assets. This was a wise decision. Substance abuse can have a significant impact on financial stability, and it is possible that Perry sought to protect his assets from loss, either by his actions or potential creditors and legal issues related to his addiction. You can do the same for a friend or relative if you want to support them and know they struggle to manage their finances responsibly.

These advantages apply to you, too! You do not need to be wealthy to want a trust. You do not have to be charitable or famous to take advantage of the benefits.

The Appeal of Privacy

Remember when I mentioned above that the court process is public? I also noted that a trust can help you and your family avoid court and its very public nature. If you were wondering, “If it’s true Matthew Perry had a trust, then how come it’s public knowledge that he had $1.5 million in his bank account?” Then kudos! You caught on to something important.

Matthew Perry also had a will, and wills go through probate. Any assets not placed into a trust must be dealt with via your will and, thus, are subject to the court process. Remember when I mentioned that court filings must contain your personal and financial information? That’s how we know about Matthew Perry’s bank account. The funds in his bank account were ostensibly not placed into his trust and are subject to the public probate process. You can look up the court records and read his will – or any will – for yourself.

His will mentioned that he had trust, which is also common. It doesn’t mention the terms of the trust, who the beneficiaries are, what his other assets are, and who gets what. Our public knowledge is limited to what’s in his will. And if his bank account had been placed into his trust, it would have been kept private, too.

In short, assets placed into a trust are kept private, as is your personal and financial information. Assets left out of a trust are public knowledge. So, when you create a trust, you mustn’t just draft and sign the document and call it a day. You must take the next step and correctly place your assets into the trust. If you don’t do that, you lose all the benefits the trust offers.

How We Help You Protect What Matters Most

As more details about Perry’s estate emerge (and sadly, his death), we may better understand his intentions and the legacy he will leave behind. While his untimely passing is a tragic loss, his estate planning offers a fascinating look at the advantages of trusts and how you can also take advantage of them.

We help you create a comprehensive Life & Legacy Plan that may include tools like trusts to protect your assets, maintain your privacy, and ensure your loved ones are cared for—without the headaches of court or the increased chances of conflict. By planning today, you can have peace of mind knowing your wishes will be honored, your family’s future will be safeguarded, and your legacy will be kept private.

Schedule a complimentary 15-minute consultation to learn more. Contact us today!

This article is a service of Res Nova Law, a Personal Family Lawyer® Firm. We don’t just draft documents; we ensure you make informed and empowered decisions about life and death, for yourself and the people you love. That’s why we offer a Life & Legacy Planning™ Session, during which you will get more financially organized than you’ve ever been before and make all the best choices for the people you love. You can begin by calling our office today to schedule a Life & Legacy Planning™ Session.

The content is sourced from Personal Family Lawyer® for use by Personal Family Lawyer® firms, a source believed to be providing accurate information. This material was created for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as ERISA, tax, legal, or investment advice. If you are seeking legal advice specific to your needs, such advice services must be obtained on your own separate from this educational material.