Advice Columnist Susie Answers Questions on Boyfriend Rudeness and Dealing With Sloppy Friends

ASK SUSIE is a regular Lacamas Magazine advice column.

Dear Susie:
What do I do if a guy I really like is rude to me when his friends are around, but when he’s along he’s kind and considerate?

Stephanie
Vancouver, WA

Dear Stephanie:
I’m sorry to hear that boys like calculus — once you think you have figured it out, then you realize you forgot to take other formulas into consideration. It sounds like this kind and nice boyfriend of yours has an ego problem. Do you really see a future with some guy who wants to keep a relationship wiht you low-key because he wants to please his friends? Girl, you are a precious gem, worth much more than what this guy has to offer. So, keep your standards high and realize that this boy is not as great as you’d like him to be. It is hard, but in the end, you’ll be grateful you overlooked him.

Susie


Dear Susie:
How do you tell your best friend he’s really a slob?

It is hard to point out any imperfection on a friend, let alone a best friend. I have a friend who is a real slob and I just finally told her when she wanted to live together after night school, that I couldn’t live with a slob. It had to be said.

Feelings weren’t hurt, and she was well aware of the problem. You friend may know of his uncleanliness, but it grosses you out, you should tell him. Maybe you can offer to help him not be such a slob. Help do weekly checks on his room or car, or whatever is a pigsty. Encourage your friend to change his habits in a kind way so no one gets offended. Your friend will understand that you want to help him rather than be disgusted by him.

Susie